Thursday, April 3, 2014

Well of Emotions

I would usually consider myself a moderatedly emotional person. I cry when neccessary and relate to people when I can- but I wouldn't say anymore than the average woman. HOWEVER- this pregnancy I have gained a new-found sensitivity to the world. I first realized this just a few weeks ago when I saw a horrible video of an animal being abused. It was on my newsfeed and I couldnt escape it- it was playing as I scrolled down on Facebook and I couldn't get the horrible image out of my head. Within a minute I saw something on my newsfeed about a child being abused. I cried. The world seemed so dark at the moment and it bothered me. For the first time ever I had one of those "I can't believe my child is going to have to endure these horrible things in the world" thoughts. I knew in that moment that something had changed in me. It wasn't just that I was emotional today, but I had a newly found sensitive perspective of the world.

The way that I felt that day was one of my negative experiences in regards to my new found emotions- but I have also had beautiful experiences since then. I found myself noticing older people more in public and trying to make eye contact with them- to show them that they are important. I found myself thinking more about other people's lives and the beauty that is found within them. I have cried over countless friend's new babies being born and over missing family and friends. Although sometimes my emotions have taken me on a wild ride- I am grateful for the new light I have seen things in lately. It is a beautiful thing to be able to relate to others on an emotional level and share in life's moments with them.

I am not sure if these emotions and feelings will last forever, but I do know that I want God to allow me to minister to people and see a need/emotion and be able to talk about it. Relating to others, sharing in their stories, and ministering to them is a huge part of our responsibility. I always want to have a heart for others- if we don't care about those around us how can we possibly make an impact??